Coming Clean
by Talon Marlow
Summary: Uhura just wants to take a bath in peace. Maybe she should consider transferring from Jim Kirk's ship. Spock also makes an appearance in this short story.


Author's Notes: 1) I'm not 100% sure about speakers/doors/high-ranking officers having codes that can override locks. However, for the purpose of this short story, that's how we're going to roll.

2) I don't own Star Trek, but if I did, I'd put the characters in uncomfortable situations as often as possible.

* * *

_Coming Clean_

By J.M. Powell

Uhura stretched her neck against the cool porcelain of the tub's edge, letting her hair spill loose around her shoulders. One of the advantages of being a bridge officer was a well-equipped private bathroom, and after today, she fully intended to take advantage of the facilities at her disposal. The bathwater was hot and felt shamefully pleasant, its heat finding the tight spots in her muscles and easing their strain. She closed her eyes, awash in the glow of quarter-lights and the scent of lavender suds.

Her eyelids half-opened in suspicion when the speaker by the door buzzed.

"It's Kirk," came a pleading voice. "I gotta talk to you."

"I'm busy," she said calmly, refusing to allow him to stir her.

"It can't wait," he insisted, and she heard a click as he used his override code.

"Don't--" she began, but the door swooshed open and Kirk bustled through it.

"Hey-- oh." He scratched at the nape of his neck, looking awkward. "Why didn't you say you were in the bath?"

Uhura sighed and closed her eyes again, glad for the bubbles that shielded her from his gaze.

If he were uneasy at first, he seemed to quickly regain his composure. He sat on a bench against the wall adjacent to the tub, leaning in Uhura's direction. "I had to apologize. It's eating me alive."

"I'm sure it is."

"Don't be like that. I'm really sorry."

"In case you haven't noticed, Kirk, I'm naked right now--"

Kirk couldn't resist a grin. "I noticed."

Uhura carried on as if she were not interrupted. "--and I'm not really comfortable having this conversation when our attire is so unequal. So either lose your clothes, or get out." She reclined her neck again, expecting the discussion to be at an end.

Her head jerked up when she heard him unzip his pants. "What do you think you're doing?"

That grin again. "Following orders, ma'am." He tugged his pants over his feet and reached for his shirt.

She sat up straight, folding her arms over her chest. "You are unbelievable, you know that?"

He was naked now, save for a pair of plain white boxers. "I've been told. Can we talk now?" He opened his arms for her approval.

She ran her eyes up and down his somewhat scrawny figure, narrowing them in scrutiny. "I don't believe I'm wearing underwear."

He didn't flinch at her challenge. In a fluid gesture, the shorts were on the floor, and he stepped out of them, nudging them aside with his foot.

Captain and lieutenant maintained eye contact for a long moment before Uhura said, "Five minutes. No longer."

Kirk conceded with an eager nod and sat on the bench again, leaning forward this time as a way of preserving a modicum of modesty. "You know I'd never do anything to make you uncomfortable, right?"

Uhura glanced around the bathroom and quirked one brow.

Kirk waved his hands dismissively. "I mean when it's really important."

"It doesn't matter to me that you embarrassed-- no, that you _humiliated _me," she said tersely. "I'm a big girl. I can handle it."

Kirk looked helpless. "I promise it was just supposed to be a joke."

"Spock didn't think it was very funny, and you better not embarrass him like that again while I'm around," she snapped, more harshly than she intended. "Just because you and the rest of the clowns on the bridge get a good guffaw out of off-color cracks doesn't mean that everyone shares your infantile sense of humor."

Kirk hung his head with a sheepish nod. His hands twitched on his bare knees. "I told him I was sorry and he accepted my apology."

"Of course he did," Uhura said, feeling a warm rush of pride. "He's a bigger man than you. In more ways than one."

Kirk looked up, flashing his boyish smirk once more. "No shame in hitting below the belt, eh? Or the lack of one, in this case."

Uhura allowed herself a slight smile at the good-natured way he took the insult. "Whatever's most effective."

"So what about it?" he prompted after a quiet moment passed between them. "Is he a bigger man than you, too?"

Uhura considered Kirk's pleading eyes, his hopeful smile, his naked arms that were dotted with chillbumps. She rolled her eyes. "All right. I forgive you. Don't let it happen again."

"M'lady," he began with gallant bravado, "I assure you I shall be the model of gentility." To emphasize his promise, he stood and performed a sweeping bow.

She cringed and averted her gaze, cupping one hand over her eyes. "Glad to hear it. Why don't you start by putting on some pants?"

"After you."

"Nyota, may I enter?"

Kirk and Uhura both looked at each other with wide eyes. The voice outside the door was unmistakable, and quite unexpected. Neither of the bathroom's occupants made a sound. Uhura was too stunned to even contemplate answering.

"Nyota?" Spock's muffled voice carried through the door once more before it swooshed open-- _damn Kirk, of course he wouldn't lock it back_-- and he strode through the opening, clad in his standard uniform and carrying a PADD.

This was it, Uhura thought. Spock had found Jim Kirk naked in her bathroom and he would kill the captain in a jealous rage, and the ship would fall into a state of chaos and mutiny, and it would all be because she just had to have a lavender bubble bath.

Of course, Spock rarely reacted as she expected. Instead of seizing Kirk by the throat or pummeling him to the tiled floor, he stood at attention, looking nonplussed but respectful. "Captain."

Kirk glanced at Uhura for a fraction of a second before mimicking Spock's rigid posture. He clasped his hands behind his back and executed a single nod of his head. "Commander."

"I came to discuss the afternoon's incident with the lieutenant, but it is opportune that I have encountered you as well."

Kirk canted his head aside, his eyes amused. "Hear that, lieutenant? Opportune."

Uhura groaned.

"I have considered your earlier recommendation," Spock continued in his even voice, his inflections as level and calm as ever. "How did you phrase it? Ah, yes… to 'lighten up.'"

Uhura felt a flash of anger, and she might have lunged at Kirk herself if she were clad in more than scented bubbles. "You told me you apologized."

Kirk extended his hands in front of him in a placating manner. "I did! I just made a helpful suggestion, too."

"While I still find the remark in question somewhat crude," Spock said, placing his PADD on the counter near the sink, "I agree that my reaction was unwarranted. As you rightfully indicated, my position would be better served by my endeavoring to assimilate myself amongst the crew."

Kirk shrugged. "That's not how I phrased it, but it sounds like the gist of things."

"I have read that humor is a form of bonding among humans."

"Not that kind of low-brow ribbing, Spock," Uhura said, annoyed by Kirk's spin on the offense. "You can bond and understand human culture without taking jabs."

Spock was quiet. "I must confess I do not understand the current situation," he said at last.

Uhura pursed her lips at Kirk. "Go ahead. Explain it to him."

"It's…" Kirk hesitated, glancing from his own naked figure to the bathtub, "…a form of human bonding."

Spock likewise shifted his eyes, dark with thought, between his fellow officers. He said nothing and the room became tense for a moment. Finally, without a word, he pulled his shirt over his head.

Uhura sputtered. "Spock?"

"I am dedicated in my effort to forge connections with the crew," he said simply as he removed his pants with fluid grace. When he, too, stood tall, stark, and lanky beside Kirk, Uhura expelled a sigh and sank her head under the surface of the bubbles.

She heard the two men speaking as if from a distance, opening her eyes underwater to see their images wavering against the dim lights overhead. "I have displeased her?" Spock asked, the sincerity in his voice causing her a twinge of guilt.

"Nah," Kirk said. "Girls just really like bubble baths."

Uhura broke the surface, water dripping down her face as she fixed Kirk with a glare. "Your five minutes are up. Out. Now."

"Fine." Kirk started gathering his clothes. "Again, Spock, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you earlier."

"I assure you I take no offense," Spock said. With a cursory glance at the captain's still-bare midsection, he added, "It seems you have cause to feel abashed today, as well."

Uhura snorted, and Kirk's blue eyes widened. He hastened to pull up his undershorts, and he looked at Uhura with a bemused expression. "You hear that, Lieutenant? He isn't above taking a shot now and then, either."

"A 'shot'?" Spock inclined his head, and if the lights were brighter, Uhura thought she could have spotted a spark of amusement in his otherwise impassive eyes. "Only in the interest of bonding, Captain."


End file.
